Shaking Up The Norm
Pretty soon holiday music will be blasting from mall speakers and someone somewhere in North Dakota will be enjoying some "chestnuts roasting on an open fire". People in Florida will still be wearing flip flops and shorts but we will all be in the Holiday Spirit nonetheless. It's the norm. Before saying goodbye to 2018 and hello to a whole lotta holiday debt may I challenge you to find ways to readjust yourself and your life so that you are transforming into a better version of YOUrself as opposed to conforming to the version of those around you? There is still time: time in the year, time in your day, time in your life. There is still time to live your best life.
When me and my children left the States and relocated to Paris, everyone around me was in an uproar. I was shaking up a norm and they did not like it. There was no malicious intent in their concern, I know. But if I had given in to their protests, I would have stifled my growth and blanded my story. You see, new adventures add salt and substance to our lives. If we always do things the way they have always been done, what is the point of living? Conformity is death in so many ways.
When me and my children left the States and relocated to Paris, everyone around me was in an uproar. I was shaking up a norm and they did not like it. There was no malicious intent in their concern, I know. But if I had given in to their protests, I would have stifled my growth and blanded my story. You see, new adventures add salt and substance to our lives. If we always do things the way they have always been done, what is the point of living? Conformity is death in so many ways.
I refuse to conform to the typical story and script.
I left for France to get married and because I had
associations where I was going. They knew the climate way better than I did so
I felt confident in my abilities to create a whole other life for my kids. The
journey went how the journey went and we eventually made our way back to the
States, but not before I learned many things. Relocating to France for the
first time was a HUGE learning experience. There is no way I would know what I
know if I had not taken that step.
Don’t let the fears and concerns of others stifle your
steps. If you feel led by the Lord to go, GO!
People mean well, I know. But people are also very people-y.
They get in the way and are oftentimes blinded by their own fears, worries and
shames. Do not follow people who are not in the position that you desire. You
are crazy if you do.
Because I had this higher vision for my life I was super
careful then and I am super careful now of whom I follow, whom I listen to, and
whom I allow in my life.
Everyone should not have access to you and your dreams. Do
not speak too much of what you will do and where you will go because most
likely people will talk you out of it.
I remember when I first revealed to some friends that I was
going to Paris. This lady invited me over her house for lunch and when I got
there I figured out it was just to talk me out of going. I was like “huh”?! It
was easy to not listen to the naysayers because they were living lives I did
not want.
These well-meaning people: friends, co-workers, church
members, etc were so worried for and frightened over my relocation. Many called
and reached out the whole time we were overseas. They could not wait to see us
again and spend time with us and continually wished us well and hoped that we
were safe. The irony? My black self and my black children were safer, happier
and healthier in Paris, France than we have ever been in America. All countries
have their flaws and racial issues, but that is a place where we were treated
well, welcomed and not mistreated because of our blackness. Today I have a
community in France because of my time there. I have new friends who I know and
they know me. That could not and would
not have happened if I had allowed the fears of others to dictate my actions.
And now that we are here in the States? I have seen a couple
of people a couple of times but no one is checking for us. No one threw a party
when we returned and only one friend invited us over to dine with her family
when we returned. All of those people who cared so much for our safety and
welfare when we were gone; who could not wait until we returned have
just….disappeared.
And it is okay. But I have written all of this to let you
know, Dear Woman, that when you receive the call to GO: go abroad, go get
married to a foreigner, go pursue a new career, go cut your hair, go do
something that no one in your entire family has ever done, go learn a new
language, go take a new class, go study abroad...On the day that you receive
that Heart Call to go, you do that thing!
Do your research, ask for prayers, tell a few people or tell
no one at all. You will be excellent. You will have all that you need. You will
not fail. Even if you must “return” it will only be a matter of time before you
are to GO again. Mistakes are the only way we learn how to be successful.
Decide to learn THROUGH your failures, THROUGH your pains. Keep going knowing
that the path you pave is your path, not the ones well-meaning friends, family
members, and co-workers paved for you.
We are no longer to be conformers, but transformers.
Transformed Feminine Women who live lives they actually LOVE.
Today, I feel freer than I have ever felt in my entire life.
And this has happened because God gave me the courage to walk away from the
crowd. And He will give it to you as well. We can’t conform. We have to stop
doing things the way they have always been done.
Some helpful resources in this season of Transformation:
1. The Bible
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