Friends or Wound Buddies?

Recently me and a friend were conversing and I discovered that our conversations had taken a negative turn. Instead of sharing fun plans, swapping exciting stories and praise reports we were stuck in a conversational rut; griping about the same things we always do but in a negative manner. After our hour-long vent session,  I got off the phone and headed to my car…and noticed my rear tire was almost flat (seemingly out of the blue!). Without a word, I took a breath, silently apologized, and then gave thanks. I had attracted this event (Law of Attraction was in full effect).

Today as I was taking my morning walk I thought about the previous day’s conversation with my friend. I love her dearly and would not trade our friendship for the world but as women we have wounds and when we converse we often share our challenges and struggles because we find solace in each other. But there is a fine line between being friends and being wound buddies. Wound buddies are those we connect with because they share the same scars and hurts as we do. So we share stories about our wounds and scars, and have pity parties about our wounds and scars, and check on each other throughout the day or week to see if the wounds and scars are still there. What began as a lovely friendship can take very quick turns into something sad and toxic. 

 As I went about my morning walk today I decided that it was time for a change. I don’t want to be in pain anymore, feeling defeated and unsuccessful because my biggest dreams have yet to come to pass. And I don’t want to talk about or even think about the things I do not want.

 I want to enjoy life and all that it has to offer even if this feels like THE LONGEST “in-between” period of my life (i.e. in between where I’ve been and where I want to go). Whether this season of life is a detour, pit stop or extra long assignment God has me carrying out before he finally lets me into the doors I’ve been vigorously knocking on, I do not know. But what I do know is that life is meant to be ENJOYED…

And enjoy it we will, darnit! I may not be where I want to be but I am not where I used to be and that should be celebrated. Other things in my life enjoy celebration too!

What are you grateful for today? What are you choosing to celebrate today? Whatever it is or those things are, we must give ourselves credit. Set your intentions, pray, meditate, take action, then trust that your steps will lead to the purpose/the expected end you are hoping for. And when we converse with our friends? The celebration should not stop. We should choose to discuss topics that inspire and energize, empower and encourage. Ladies, this is a moment where we must decide in our hearts to enjoy the journey and everything that comes along with it while we are en route to our destiny, and encourage our sister-friends to do the same.

 I believe that life has a purpose and an expected end. And since I believe that, I know that nothing just happens. Every thing matters: every person, every relationship, every thought, every decision, every success and perceived failure…it matters because every thing I went through or am currently going through  is shaping my destiny and it is shaping me for my destiny. So since it matters, I should not complain. I should not engage in pity parties. I should not speak negatively about any thing ever. I should not be focused on what events did not work, what people did not come through, what plans did not pan out. It happened, so I will feel my feelings, make the necessary adjustments, teach/inspire/encourage others along the way, and move on. In terms of friendships: if you and your friend are both deficit in the same things that you desire (e.g. money, marriage, career, joy, peace, etc) then you are at risk for being wound buddies. Reevaluate your friendships as well as your conversations with friends to ensure things stay friendly. I am not proposing we be the types of friends who thin out when times get thick but we must be the type of women who are conscious, aware, active and positive.

We cannot continue to live in yesterday, while cursing today all the while demanding a brighter tomorrow. That is madness.