A Thousand Lives

August 20, 2017

6:10 PM

By the time a woman reaches middle age she has lived a thousand lives…and probably died a thousand deaths. This sentiment came to mind the other day after I’d finished reading Amy Tan’s Valley of Amazement, a not so quick read I’d come across in this apartment I’m renting. Business is slow and wifi is inconsistent so I had plenty of time to read a novel. But Valley of Amazement is not just a novel, it is a fascinating tale of a mother and a daughter on separate but equal journeys to love, happiness, fulfillment, each other, and self.

After I finished reading I couldn’t help but think of my own life and all the “women” I’ve been over the years. When I was 13, I was the young woman who lost her mother to heart disease. When I was 18, I was the woman who got pregnant and had to drop out of college. 8 years later I was the woman who beat the odds and completed graduate school with two children…and so on and so on the story goes. Every year or few years, a different milestone, a different me. Now at 34 I am a on-again, off-again teacher and wanna-be writer living in France with her two teen children. What happens to this woman? How does her story pan out? What is she even doing there?

After reading Tan’s Valley I think I can answer that: she lives her life as she always has, not allowing the doubts and fears of the few to cloud her mind or taint her journey. While she may stumble, she will not fall.  And while she might bruise, she will heal. To me life is about laughter, loss, leisure and love. And it’s also about living out your purpose! What you were meant to do, being who you were meant to be. Call it fate, destiny, what you will…but I know I have a purpose. Every woman does! And if Valley taught or reminded me of anything, it expresses the importance of not prematurely settling for just any old story. It speaks of striving to be the best, as opposed to just getting by.

But striving and hoping can be painful, disappointing and sometimes downright miserable. But they are so worth it. C'est vraiment! Be clever, be sharp, be resourceful and always be on guard for those who would take your sweet, feminine looks and mannerisms for docility and stupidity. You are neither docile nor stupid. You are a feminine woman and that, my dear, speaks volumes.