The Graceful Representative List

When I think about feminine grace, I think about the 1950s housewives shown on tv: always smiling, flitting about their tidy homes in pretty dresses and pearls: serving, smiling and totally unbothered.

 Your husband may currently be an average Joe, a great and powerful man or somewhere in between. Either way, as his wife, you hold his image in your perfectly manicured hands, so use your power wisely sisters.

How can you be your family’s graceful representative? Here are a few ideas:

1.       Ensure you are at an optimal weight so you can be helpful and feel pretty. Excess pounds typically make us feel uncomfortable and this prevents​ us from being our best selves.

2.       Dress in a feminine way (wear feminine colors and soft, flowy fabrics)

3.       Wear heels

4.       Wear light makeup and accessories

5.       Wear a fragrance that compliments you

6.       Smile (be positive, happy, cordial, sweet)

7.       Say please and thank you

8.       No complaining!

9.       Greet people, and ask how they’re doing (in person and online)

10.   Don’t let other women out-nurture you (clean unapologetically, serve others first, help with domestic duties…even if shooed away by the other woman/women)

11.   If attending an event, bring the host/hostess a gift as well as something for all to enjoy (wine, bottled water, food item)

12.   Serve your husband/date (no other woman should be allowed to do this, not a waitress, not the hostess, not his mama, no one but you!)

13.   If at an event, check on your husband/date throughout the evening to ensure he is well-nurtured

14.   Maintain eye contact with those who converse with you

15.   Brag on your husband/date. Look at him when he speaks!

16.   Wear an apron

17.   Ask others about themselves, refuse to over talk them or dominate the conversation

18.   Greet everyone with a hug and/or kiss on cheek.

19.   Take breaks out of sight

20.   Use your feminine voice. Being loud is masculine

21.   If annoyed or upset, please feel your feelings in private. But only for a short time! 5 minutes is plenty. When you return, smile.

22.   Be affectionate towards your man and/or children

23.   Say what you do like and do want. Negative Nancys are anything but graceful.

24.   Refuse to be a picky eater. Eat everything on your plate! If there are dietary concerns, alert the hostess beforehand.

25.   Ensure your children eat everything on their plates too!

26.   Assist with set up, serving and clean up. If you are with your husband, please ask if this is okay. He might want you at his side at certain times so be sure you are following his lead/directions.

27.   If you are ready to leave but your husband/date is not, please do not give him sassy looks, complain, yawn loudly, or text him “let’s go” This is rude and emasculating. It is best to create a signal beforehand when one or the other is ready so no one is embarrassed or rushed.

28.   Do not pile plates with food. Carefully and lovingly arrange food on the plate. Those we serve are worth this attention to detail.

29.   Acknowledge your husband as soon as he calls on you.

30.   If child/children misbehave in public please take them outside or away from others immediately.  If you need reinforcements, sweetly ask your husband for his assistance. If child/children are small there should be a plan in place if he or she acts up in public. Plans eliminate stress, so plan away!

31.   Cry. If something makes you upset, get sad not angry. People, especially men, react very differently to a crying woman versus a mean, angry, yelling woman. Got pulled over by a cop? Cry. Someone being mean to you at the grocery store? Cry. Hubby forgot your anniversary AGAIN? Cry. Children not behaving and you need a break? Cry to their father! Crying opens doors that yelling can’t even touch.
32.    When hosting or helping at an event, always take breaks out of sight (we lose feminine points by sitting and allowing other women to serve us or out-nurture us!)
33.   Dinner doesn't have to be complicated. Yummy meals can be made with the simplest ingredients.  Add pizzazz to plain water or drinks by serving them in glasses and infused with fruit!
34.   Clean and organize as well as humanly possible. Don't clean like an American, clean like a Japanese wife! Our spaces should be clutter-free (put cleaning supplies under counter, organize shoes by color or style, don't live out of your suitcase when traveling, clean floors on hands and knees, etc)