How to Forgive and Move On

Am I an expert on forgiveness? Nope
Is that fact gonna stop me from sharing my experiences with you? No way!

I understand how hard it can be to forgive. I understand that forgiving others and moving on past the hurt and past the tragedy can make you feel weak, victimized and further taken advantage of.
I know many, many, many people have written about this topic so there is nothing new to say about it.

So I will not try to convince you to forgive. I will just share a bit of my story instead:

Back in  2017, on another blog platform,  I shared a blog post about my issues with a group I had joined. I shared the blog post because I felt that staying silent would mislead other women. I wanted them to read my truth and then make their own informed decisions.

But many women still had questions and my inbox overflowed with their inquiries. It was overwhelming and I went on a serious hiatus from Facebook. I also unfriended and blocked several people who I’d befriended from my time in the group. That was rude, hurtful and very disrespectful I know, but I did it to protect myself. I did not know at that time who I could trust. I was super vulnerable and a bit confused.

For this part of my story, I would like to ask forgiveness of any woman whom I unfriended/or blocked on Facebook because I was afraid that I could not trust you. I was wrong and rash, and I am very very sorry. Would you please forgive me?

Forgiveness is a process. After leaving the group and leaving Facebook, I had lots of time to think and date and get used to my new surroundings in Paris, France. I love it there! It is such a beautiful country! The people I met, the adventures I enjoyed, the sights I saw and lessons I learned will stick with me for a lifetime. Living in France was THE BEST experience.

When I think about me and the group’s leader falling out and everything that happened I can’t be mad. I just can’t. For one, I am no longer in that head-space and feelings-space to hold a grudge or make someone pay for upsetting me and my world. It happened. It did not feel good; I wish it could have been better, but it happened. And I am a better woman for it.

I am so glad me and my children packed up for that adventure to France, nothing went the way it was supposed to yet it was ALL so perfect. I got the chance of a lifetime!  To live abroad with my two children and not have to worry about money or support. God provided and we always had plenty of both. I thrived better in France as a single mom than I ever have in the US! How is that for irony?!

Anyway, if I had not been wronged then I would have missed out on a wonderful adventure. My children would have missed out on this adventure too.

Sunny days do not help us to appreciate other sunny days, only rainy days have that kind of power. As much as we’d like our life to be full of perfect days, rainbows and sunshine, it is better that it’s not like that because the contrasts in life are the things that help us to define what it is we really want. The contrasts in life provide us with a more refined picture of the life we yearn to live. If it were not for the contrasts in the previous blog post I would have no idea what my deepest desires are. But today I do. And that makes me feel so happy, peaceful, focused, and powerful. Holding on to old crap takes too much energy #iDontWanna

So no I am not angry. I can’t even think about holding on to a perceived wrong or grudge.  Feelings of revenge, regret, victimization or unforgiveness have no place in my life story.
With what happened, all I can say is that I truly believe it was God who brought us together and it was God who forced us to part.

I can forgive others because I know that others do not control my life and others do not control my destiny. I am God’s child and in His hands. There is nothing anyone can do to me that He does not allow. So if God allowed it, it MUST be for a reason. #ImListeningGod

I had lessons to learn. Many, many lessons to learn. And I’ve learned them! And I am still learning them and I am experiencing and enjoying all the fruits of my GROWth. Some days I feel like a thriving and beautiful fruit tree  #blooming #blossoming #bearingfruit

Maybe you should forgive and move on too. If what had happened had not happened, you would not be you. And your growth would be severely stunted. I know It hurt. I understand it was highly unfair and uncalled for. I can only imagine the painful inconveniences it has caused. But you must let it go so that you can GROW. Do not hold on to making others pay for how they mishandled you.

What is the lesson? Ask that question and then move on. The answer will come.